How to Tell If Your Parent Is Being Scammed: 10 Warning Signs

Posted on December 30, 2025
by Three Rivers Star Foundation

We’re often the last to notice when scammers target our parents. Watch for sudden secrecy about finances, unexplained large withdrawals, and defensive reactions to questions about money. New “friends” offering help, reluctance discussing phone calls, and difficulty recalling recent transactions signal serious trouble. In 2024, older adults lost $2.3 billion to fraud. Check accounts weekly. Ask direct questions. Document everything. Report suspicious activity immediately to the National Elder Fraud Hotline. The warning signs multiply fast—understanding each one matters tremendously.

Sudden Secrecy About Financial Matters

One day your parent’s been open about bills and bank accounts, and the next day they won’t discuss money at all. That sudden wall? It’s a red flag we can’t ignore.

One day your parent discusses finances openly. The next day, complete silence. That sudden wall is a red flag.

We’re noticing financial transparency disappearing fast. Your parent deflects questions about statements. They change the subject when you mention credit cards. This shift signals serious trouble because scammers demand secrecy.

Trust issues emerge when fraudsters work. They tell your parent not to tell family members. Not to verify anything. The FTC reports that 41% of major scams start with phone contact, building isolation through silence. Scammers exploit trust, authority, and fear to manipulate their victims into maintaining complete confidentiality.

We need to act immediately. Open conversations about finances now. Ask direct questions about unusual charges. Don’t wait. Secrecy kills victims’ ability to get help when they need it most.

Unexplained Large Withdrawals and Transfers

While sudden secrecy signals trouble, unexplained large withdrawals and transfers scream emergency.

Your parent’s bank account tells a story. Large cash withdrawals. Wire transfers to unknown recipients. Recurring charges they don’t remember authorizing. These aren’t accounting errors. They’re theft happening in real time.

Start financial oversight immediately. Check their accounts weekly. Look for patterns. Compare current statements against past ones. Notice the difference. A $5,000 withdrawal last month? Ask about it directly.

The numbers matter here. In 2024, older adults reported $2.3 billion in fraud losses. Some victims emptied entire 401ks without realizing it.

Don’t wait. Stop suspicious transfers now. Contact the bank immediately. Report everything to the National Elder Fraud Hotline. Time moves fast when scammers are involved. Act faster.

New “Friends” or “Helpers” Offering Assistance

How does a scammer become your parent’s best friend? Through calculated kindness. New acquaintances who offer unsolicited help pose real danger. They appear suddenly—offering rides, running errands, managing finances.

They isolate your parent from family. They gain trust. Then they strike.

Scammers exploit loneliness. Post-pandemic isolation makes older adults vulnerable to these new “helpers.” They’re patient. They visit regularly. They become indispensable.

Eventually they request access to bank accounts or financial decisions.

Watch for this pattern: sudden new friendships, especially with younger people showing unusual interest.

Notice if your parent withdraws from existing relationships. Ask direct questions about new companions. Verify their backgrounds. Don’t hesitate to express concerns.

Trust your instincts. Protect financial access now.

Defensive Reactions to Financial Questions

When we ask our parents about unusual charges or large withdrawals, we might notice them getting angry or shutting down instead of explaining.

They’ll change the subject, refuse to share account details, or snap that it’s none of our business—red flags that suggest they’re hiding something, whether shame about a scam or pressure from a scammer.

We need to stay calm, persistent, and frame these conversations as protection, not accusation, because defensive reactions often mean they’re already caught in someone’s trap.

Anger When Asked Questions

Why does your parent suddenly get defensive when you ask about a suspicious charge? We’re seeing anger triggers and emotional volatility spike when scammers’ve already hooked them.

They’re embarrassed. They’re scared. Here’s what we’re observing:

Sudden rage over innocent questions about bank statements or credit card bills
Deflection tactics like changing the subject or accusing you of not trusting them
Isolation behavior refusing to share financial information or account access

The anger isn’t really about you. It’s shame. Scam victims often recognize something’s wrong but can’t admit it.

In 2024, older adults lost $2.3 billion to fraud. Many stayed silent for months. When confronted, defensive reactions intensify dramatically.

Don’t back down. Document everything. Report suspicious activity immediately to the National Elder Fraud Hotline. Their anger signals deeper trouble.

Beyond the anger comes silence. When you ask about unusual transactions, your parent clams up. They won’t explain the missing money. This reluctance screams trouble.

We see unspoken worries in their tight lips and diverted eyes. They dodge specific questions about who they’re sending money to or why. This defensiveness often masks shame and fear about falling victim to fraud.

Trust issues develop fast. Your parent may worry you’ll take control of their finances if they admit problems. They protect their independence fiercely, even when scammers drain their accounts.

The FTC reports that older adults lost $2.3 billion to fraud in 2024.

Here’s what we need to do: stay calm, ask direct questions gently, and listen without judgment. Don’t back down.

Dramatic Changes in Spending and Lifestyle Patterns

We need to watch for sudden money moves that don’t add up.

Your parent’s withdrawing thousands in cash, bills are piling up unpaid, and new bank accounts appear without explanation—these aren’t normal financial shifts.

Stop and ask directly: where’s the money going, why’re bills late, and who opened these accounts you don’t remember?

Unexplained Large Withdrawals

One of the earliest warning signs that your parent might be caught in a scam is noticing money vanishing from their bank account in ways they can’t explain.

We need to look closer. Large, sudden withdrawals demand immediate attention. Here’s what to watch for:

Withdrawals they don’t remember making or can’t justify
Round-number transfers to unfamiliar accounts or payment methods
Multiple smaller withdrawals that add up quickly over weeks

Use financial monitoring tools and bank statement analysis regularly. Check their accounts monthly. Ask direct questions about every large transaction. Don’t assume they’re simply forgetful.

Scammers move fast. They drain accounts systematically. Your vigilance matters. If something seems off, it probably is.

Contact their bank immediately. Report suspicious activity now.

Sudden Bill Payment Neglect

A sudden shift in your parent’s bill-paying habits signals danger. We’ve seen it happen: utilities shut off. Credit cards maxed. Mortgage payments missed. These aren’t oversights—they’re red flags.

Warning Sign	What It Means	Your Action
Unpaid utility bills	Scammers drained funds	Call the utility company
Skipped mortgage/rent	Money diverted elsewhere	Review bank statements immediately
Ignored medical bills	Financial priorities shifted	Ask about recent large transactions

Scammers intercept money before bills get paid. They change payment methods or redirect recurring payments to accounts your parent doesn’t recognize. Financial habits shift dramatically. One month everything’s current. Next month? Everything’s delinquent.

Ask directly about unpaid notices. Request access to their accounts. Stop suspicious recurring payments immediately. Document everything. Report findings to the National Elder Fraud Hotline. Time matters here. Act now.

New Accounts Without Explanation

Beyond unpaid bills sits something more sinister: accounts your parent never opened. We’re talking new credit cards. Unauthorized loans. Bank accounts in their name they don’t recognize. These aren’t mistakes. They’re theft.

Watch for these warning signs:

New account notifications arriving by mail or email your parent doesn’t recall requesting
Unauthorized credit inquiries appearing on credit reports without explanation
Sudden loan offers or account statements for products they never purchased

Scammers open accounts using stolen identity information. Your parent remains clueless. The damage compounds monthly. Credit scores plummet. Debt accumulates rapidly.

We need you acting fast here. Request your parent’s credit report immediately. Check for unfamiliar accounts. Dispute fraudulent entries now. Contact the National Elder Fraud Hotline today. Don’t wait. Every day costs money.

When scammers target your parent, they work hard to pull them away from you. Isolation is their weapon. They encourage your parent to keep secrets from family. Calls increase. Visits to social activities drop.

Your parent stops attending church, clubs, or gatherings they once loved. They withdraw from family engagement entirely. Watch for excuses: “I’m too busy” or “I don’t feel like going.”

These aren’t typical changes. Scammers deliberately isolate victims to maintain control and prevent discovery. Your parent becomes trapped, communicating mainly with the fraudster. The post-pandemic surge in elder fraud correlates directly with increased isolation.

Combat this by maintaining regular contact, attending social activities together, and noticing sudden withdrawal patterns. Act immediately when family engagement declines unexpectedly.

Mysterious New Online Accounts and Subscriptions

We need to watch for new accounts appearing on our parent’s devices or credit statements without explanation.

Scammers create hidden subscriptions and digital profiles that drain money monthly, sometimes adding $50 to $200 in charges before anyone notices the pattern.

Check their email inboxes, credit card statements, and device settings for unfamiliar accounts right now, because each month of delay means hundreds more disappearing.

One telltale sign of elder fraud appears right in the bank account: mysterious subscriptions and online accounts your parent never opened. Scammers create accounts fast. Your parent won’t remember authorizing them.

Watch for these red flags:

Recurring charges from unfamiliar companies appearing monthly
New email accounts linked to your parent’s financial information
Streaming services, dating sites, or premium memberships they didn’t purchase

Set up account monitoring immediately. Review statements together monthly. Ask about every charge over ten dollars. Scammers bet on shame and confusion keeping victims silent.

Act now. Fraud alert systems catch suspicious activity before real damage happens. Stop unauthorized subscriptions today. Contact your parent’s bank if accounts exist without consent. Time matters here—each month costs hundreds more.

Unrecognized Subscription Charges

Because scammers work fast and your parent’s memory works slower, mystery charges multiply quietly on credit card statements every single month.

We’re talking streaming services they never signed up for. Gym memberships. Software trials. Monthly subscriptions to apps nobody remembers downloading.

Here’s what happens. Scammers bury small charges—$4.99, $9.99, $14.99—hoping they slip past unnoticed. Your parent forgets authorizing them. The charges keep coming.

One scammer becomes five. Five becomes fifteen.

Check statements now. Look for unfamiliar company names. Call your parent’s bank immediately if you spot unrecognized subscription services. Cancel them fast.

Then review the last six months of transactions together. Those phantom charges add up quickly.

We need to stop them before they drain everything.

Hidden Digital Footprints

While your parent’s actual credit cards sit in their wallet, scammers are opening brand-new accounts in their name.

We’re talking about hidden digital footprints that multiply quietly.

Here’s what you need to watch for:

New credit cards arriving without explanation
Unfamiliar loan applications or accounts they don’t remember opening
Subscription charges appearing monthly for services they’ve never used

These aren’t mistakes. They’re crimes.

Scammers exploit weak online security measures your parent mightn’t understand.

Check credit reports immediately. Look for accounts opened in the past six months. Call creditors directly.

Freeze your parent’s credit today. Don’t wait.

Hidden accounts grow like weeds. One fraudulent account becomes five becomes fifty.

Your action stops it now.

Reluctance to Discuss Incoming Phone Calls

Does your parent suddenly seem secretive about phone calls, hanging up quickly when you enter the room? That’s a red flag. Communication barriers like this signal trouble. Scammers build relationships through repeated incoming calls. Your parent might feel embarrassed or trapped. They won’t mention the conversations. Silence becomes their shield.

Watch for patterns. Does your parent avoid discussing who’s calling? Do they seem anxious before answering? These aren’t just quirks. Forty-one percent of $10,000-plus imposter scams start via phone contact. Scammers call repeatedly, building false trust.

Here’s what we need to do. Ask gentle questions about recent calls. Don’t accuse. Listen without judgment. Suggest reviewing phone records together.

Encourage them to hang up on unfamiliar numbers. Set boundaries now, before money disappears.

Unpaid Bills Despite Available Funds

A bank account with plenty of money. Yet bills pile up unpaid. Your parent’s financial anxiety grows despite available funds.

This contradiction matters. It signals trouble:

Large unexpected withdrawals your parent doesn’t remember making
Recurring charges for services they never mentioned requesting
Money vanishing while utilities sit unpaid for months

We’re seeing this pattern escalate. Scammers drain accounts through hidden transfers and subscription traps. Your parent feels confused, embarrassed, ashamed to admit it.

Don’t ignore unpaid bills when funds exist. Ask directly. Review statements together. Check for unfamiliar charges draining resources. Fraudsters exploit cognitive decline ruthlessly.

Act now. Contact your parent’s bank immediately. Stop suspicious transactions. Halt recurring payments. The National Elder Fraud Hotline provides guidance.

Time matters here. Intervention today prevents catastrophic losses tomorrow.

Difficulty Recalling Recent Transactions and Commitments

Your parent can’t remember yesterday’s phone call. They forget what they promised to pay. This is a major red flag. Transaction memory problems and financial confusion spiral quickly into serious danger.

Scammers exploit this weakness relentlessly. They call repeatedly, making your parent authorize payments they can’t recall. Your parent authorizes wire transfers, then denies ever doing so. They genuinely don’t remember. This isn’t normal aging—it’s vulnerability.

Watch for patterns: unpaid bills despite available funds, repeated charges they don’t recognize, confusion about account activity.

Ask direct questions about recent transactions. Request bank statements. Compare dates.

The numbers matter. Cognitive decline victims lose an average of $10,000 or more. Act immediately. Document everything. Contact their bank. Report suspicious activity now. Don’t wait.

The Bottom Line

Look, we’ve all seen it happen. Your parent gets that glazed look. Suddenly they’re defensive about their bank account. They’ve got three new “tech support” friends. We’re not overreacting here. Watch for these ten signs. Act fast. Call your bank. Contact Adult Protective Services if needed. Don’t wait around hoping it’ll fix itself. It won’t. You’ve got this. Move now.

Three Rivers Star Foundation works directly to combat financial exploitation of older adults through community awareness and education programs. By equipping families and seniors with knowledge about common scam tactics and red flags, the foundation helps prevent fraud before it starts. These prevention efforts have saved countless parents from devastating financial losses.

Your donation funds prevention education. Donate.

References

How to Tell If Your Parent Is Being Scammed: 10 Warning Signs

Sudden Secrecy About Financial Matters

Unexplained Large Withdrawals and Transfers

New “Friends” or “Helpers” Offering Assistance